How To Stop Social Media Harming Your Self-Esteem
How To Stop Social Media Harming Your Self-Esteem
Social media is driving a decrease in self-esteem - but we can’t look away! Actually, you can, and here is how you do it:
This pic is ruining my day
Scrolling through social media is like eating a bag of almonds: it’s strangely irritating, you’re not really enjoying it, and every now and again you get a mouldy one that further spoils the unpleasant experience. That mouldy nut, in social media terms, is the post that makes you question your supposedly mundane existence.
You know the posts in question: the actor in his most recent shoot for Vogue; the influencer sipping coconuts in Bali; the supermodel living it up in Cannes - all are there to enhance their public persona whilst demoralising your private existence.
There is the contemporary cliche of, “you know it’s all fake, you know that their lives are probably really miserable”, but try telling us that when we’re seeing these glamorous posts whilst sitting on a milk crate out the back of a supermarket during lunch break!
In the digital era, we are programmed to envy the lives of the ostensibly glamorous whilst denigrating our own lives, and this, of course, is bad for self-esteem. Our self-esteem decreases the more we use social media, largely as a result of comparing our lives to others we perceive as more beautiful, exciting or likeable.
But we don’t have to succumb to the endless cycle of telling ourselves that we aren’t as cool as this actor, or that we aren’t as talented as this TikTok musician - we can reclaim our self-worth through positive methods like the following:
Forgetting the likes & follow your goals
Many people feel a sense of worthlessness if their post doesn’t receive many “likes”. This is where the comparisons begin: “but that jerk I went to high school with gets 100 per post” or “but that influencer gets hundreds of likes just for looking hot!”
This is obviously a very unhealthy thought process, especially when we feel our lives are flatlining or plateauing. But the link betweens likes and our self-esteem is diminished when we have a sense of greater purpose, meaning if you lead a rich and full life, and are working towards achieving a goal, then your dependance on receiving likes for a dopamine hit will be much lower than if you spend half your time checking how many likes your post received.
So, what is your goal? Are you studying towards your dream job? Are you learning how to make electronic music? Maybe you’re working towards becoming the club footy captain? What it is, focusing and putting work in towards your goal is one of the ultimate ways to forget the unbearable nuisance of receiving social media attention.
2. Put the phone down & go for a walk
The less time we spend away from social media the better, right? But if you’re one of the millions (so don’t judge yourself!) of people in the world who struggle to socialise without checking social media, perhaps it’s time you took conscious steps!
It’s as simple (no, really), as putting down the phone and taking a walk. Sure, you may feel anxious at first, like you’re missing out on something big happening in your life. But do you really feel good sitting there envying the life of someone you don’t even know?
Put down the phone and go for a walk. It might seem difficult at first, but after a while you’ll forget the phone and reconnect with the world around you - something that is most certainly good for your self-esteem.
3. Remember your worth
This can be hard when you’re staring at a supermodel posing on a yacht on Capri, and that’s why it’s the root of the problem, but you must remember your self-worth.
First, it’s important to remember that your value lies in so much more than your perceived attractiveness. At the end of the day, our looks mean little, and you shouldn’t allow a social media platform to tell you otherwise (it’s all for advertising at the end of the day, so remember the business aspect!).
You’re worth so much more than social media tells you. You are a person with skills, interests, character, love, friends - the works! And how many likes you receive on a social media post can’t take those wonderful things away from you.
4. Try mindfulness instead
The next time you’re about to fall down a rabbit hole of Insta-induced self-loathing remember you have two choices: social media or mindfulness. One is designed to demoralise you and negate your self-esteem, whilst the other is proven to improve your self-esteem.
One, like any other drug, is highly addictive, where the other, like any valuable skill, takes time to practise. When weighing these two options up it becomes clear which one is the winner, mindfulness, duh!
Practising mindfulness is one of the best ways to avoid seeking our social media validation. You don’t even have to put the phone away to practise - you can simply use The Mindful Site’s meditation tool to put down the phone for however long you need to defeat the urge to scroll.
Who knows, you may just come out of the meditation feeling much better than if you were to succumb to the urge to scroll.
5. Make your feed work for you, not against you
If you feel that social media causes you an excessive amount of stress then it may be possible that you are following the wrong pages. If your feed is clogged with influencers showing off their busy, exciting lives, and this is making you feel quite uncomfortable then it is time to switch it up!
Unfollow the influencers and instead follow positive accounts that can be of a benefit to you. This can mean anything from art to business, exercise to positive thinking - whatever it is that inspires you and makes you feel good about you.
